Soooo...what's next?

Well, the big news first...WE PASSED!! We just finished a week and a half technical evaluation with Mission Aviation Fellowship (more on our trip here and here). Basically, as a couple we were evaluated personally, spiritually, and psychologically, and then Marcos was evaluated technically as a maintenance specialist. At the end of all of that, the candidate committee extended an invitation to us to join their ministry! We really feel that God has opened this door and is leading us through it so we are following in faith as He guides us. 

Marcos' job would be an airplane mechanic somewhere overseas to help keep the planes running so that they can be used to provide medical flights, transportation for missionaries and more. To find out more about MAF and their ministry go here. 

We are really excited about joining MAF at this particular time after hearing some of the board member's hearts. MAF is trying to change the culture of their ministry from support members who back up the "real" missionaries to more of a culture of "living on mission". In other words, rather than a mechanic, a pilot, and a missionary, they want to see everyone involved in the ministry as a missionary. Marcos will be a mechanic but he will also be a missionary. I will still be a stay-at-home mom, but I will also be a missionary. This is so in line with our thinking and especially the training we've received over the last 3 years at our church where we've been challenged to live on mission and find ways to incorporate disciple-making into the everyday rhythms of our life. We are excited to be a part of this change in the organization and we feel this is what God has been preparing us for. 

So, what does this mean for our life? Well, the next step will be in January when we return to MAF headquarters. We will go through two weeks of "candidacy" at the end of which we will be made official MAF staff and given a country assignment. Then two more weeks of training in how to raise financial support. After that month of training, we will be sent out to fundraise. MAF's goal is to have us leave for language school in about 12-14 months after joining. So, tentatively we are shooting to go to language school sometime early in 2016. Language school would be a year long and then we would head out to our actual field assignment where we will be for the remainder of our four-year term. 

Yeah...HUGE life changes in the works at the Souza house!! We have tons of decisions to make about logistical stuff like when to sell our house, where to live for the rest of our time here, possibly a vehicle purchase, etc. 

So ways you can be praying for us are: 

• Continued guidance and clarity from the Lord as He leads us down the path of the unknown
• Wisdom as we make logistical and financial decisions
• For the Lord to raise up ministry partners for us (both prayer and financial)
• For boldness and courage to combat the fears that creep up in our hearts

We would so appreciate your prayers!

Also, we will be putting together a mailing list in the near future to send out prayer letters, updates, etc. so if you'd like to be on that please let me know! 

Blessings,

We're Home!

After 16 days of travel and staying in four different locations, we are finally home! Just wanted to update about the second half of our trip and of course the RESULTS!! 

So for the rest of the first week we were there, Marcos basically went to work for a typical "work day", but was being evaluated on everything he did during the day. The kids and I were free to do whatever, which mostly consisted of Elias playing in the sand box with "my kids" (the other missionary's kids). So here are some pics to catch up.

Checking out the hangar with dad...

On Friday morning, I took the kids to a play place and Elias told me "I like going on dates with you mommy!" <3

Saturday was Marcos' birthday but he had a ton of studying to do. So one of the other mom's and I took the kids to a nature park along the Boise river in downtown Boise. It was super fun!

Later, some of our new friends helped us celebrate with ice cream :)

Seriously, how cute is this?

We were supposed to fly home on Wednesday, but our flight got cancelled (no, not due to Ebola) because of a maintenance issue with the plane. So, we stayed the night in a hotel and flew home the next day. This is on the shuttle from the airport to the hotel...one of Elias' favorite parts of the trip ;)

We finally got back to DFW late Thursday night and crashed at my parent's house. We then drove back to Oklahoma on Friday...but not home. We stayed the weekend at a cabin with our missional family (small group from church). It was a fun, relaxing weekend!

So, after all of that...we made it home!! So, what's next? Since this is already super long, I'll be right back with the results of our eval and our tentative "what's next" plan.

Here we go!

Early Saturday morning, as we boarded a plane at DFW airport, it felt like we were finally beginning a journey that has been growing in our hearts for years. For the next 10 days, we will be being evaluated by Mission Aviation Fellowship for service as overseas missionaries. Marcos is applying to be a maintenance specialist with MAF. Although it has been quite a journey already to get to this point, it feels like we are finally "really doing it" as we've said so many times over the past few days. It has been amazing to see God work in our lives to bring us to this point and for both of us to know without a doubt that this is where He has led us. We have no idea what the outcome of these next two weeks will be, but we are taking it one step at a time as God reveals His path for our lives. 
We could almost feel the prayers being said for us on Saturday, when we navigated 3 airports and nearly five hours on two different flights with our two littles without any major upsets or meltdowns. Apparently we have the world's best flying babies. :) 

The apartment we are staying in is very comfortable and it has a playground area literally RIGHT outside the front door so Elias has enjoyed that tremendously. 

We arrived Saturday afternoon and after getting unpacked and getting groceries, we shared dessert with some of the other missionary families staying in the apartments in an impromptu picnic. It was great to have some fellowship with other families as soon as we got here! Elias has already made friends with all the other little kids running around. He has experienced a bit of homesickness for the first time and has said every night at bedtime, "I want to go home to OUR home." Poor buddy. He also has no concept of travel and that after getting off of the airplane we weren't still close to Nanny and Papa's. He kept saying we needed to go get our car from Papa's house. ;)
Sunday we spent resting from our long day of traveling and Marcos spent most of the day cramming in some last-minute studying for his tests. 
Marcos and I met with the candidate committee Monday morning for our first interview which seemed to go well. Marcos then went out to the hangar after lunch to begin the written portion of his tests. He completed two tests and is working on a third "take-home" research test. We won't know how he's doing at all until his debriefing next Tuesday. We will have our final meeting with the committee next Tuesday afternoon and will get a decision at that time as to whether MAF wants to bring us on board. Needless to say, nerves are high for him right now. We are doing our psychological assessment and evaluations today. We just finished a nearly 600 question test for them to discover that we're crazy...I don't know why they didn't just ask us ;) Thanks to everyone for praying for the logistics of leaving the kids with babysitters for our various appointments. So far they have done great and I have been able to pump and leave plenty of breastmilk. 

Ways you can be praying for us right now are:
- Mental focus and recall for Marcos as he is evaluated technically
- Clarity and guidance from the Lord for us as we make these big decisions after receiving the yes or no next week

- Physical endurance and health as the nights are late and the mornings are early and as we all start to feel the effects of travel and stress

- Safe travel home next week

Thank you for partnering with us in prayer!

Blessings,

Learning to Be

I have such a hard time just being. I mean really being in the moment. Not doing, just being. 

I was so reminded of that this week. I have been longing for a break. A few hours to just do what I want with my time. And then one day early this week my babies slept. At the same time. If you don't have little kids you won't understand how huge this is! But to me it's a big deal. I was so excited to knock some stuff off of my to-do list. So I got to work. 

2 hours later, my babies were still asleep. And I missed them. 

Yes, my bedroom was cleaner than it has been in weeks. Yes, I'd actually had time to sit down and eat lunch instead of scarfing down whatever I can eat while bouncing a baby. 

It's not that I wasn't grateful for the break. I was! Extremely grateful. But I think what God did for me was give me a little glimpse of the bigger picture. I missed the sounds of the little people who create such chaos in my house. 

Someday, not even that far away, I won't have these tiny humans in my house. I will have plenty of time to keep my house clean. But I won't have the privilege of shaping and shepherding tiny hearts. Why then do I have such a hard time being? Why can't I sit and drive trucks without mentally making a grocery list or thinking about the laundry mountain? Why do I so often say no to reading books with my boy so that I can clean the kitchen? Why do I resent my baby waking up when I had just gotten out the bathroom cleaners? 

These years are so short. My time with these littles is so precious. 

I want to stop DOING so much and start BEING more. 

I want God to show me the importance of my job. Yes it is hard and mundane but oh so important. And I don't want to miss out on it because I had too much to do. 

Sticky sand activity

Since Zoe has been born, Elias hasn't been getting as much outside time as he normally does and with the weather being 95+ this week, we haven't been out much at all! I've been trying to come up with some different creative things to do inside as well as starting a bit of "school" with him last week. 

We are in the middle of a giant purge as we get ready for a garage sale and a possible down-sizing in the coming months. As I was going through some of my craft supplies, I came across several jars of sand leftover from decorating from my wedding. I immediately thought we should use them for some sort of activity for Elias. So thanks to the internet I found this recipe for "sticky sand". So we made some!

Basically it makes perfect "wet" beach sand except it's not really wet. It holds together and makes great sand castles! I put it in a big tub in the kitchen and let E go to town. Rookie mistake. Definitely should have put something down on the floor first. I'll probably be sweeping sand for days. 

Anyway, he scooped and made sand shapes for a while. Then he got some trucks and things got really exciting. He played at that sand bucket for well over an hour! 

His little construction trucks were just the right size! 

We stored the leftover sand in the small plastic tub with a lid. Supposedly if it's stored in an airtight container it will last for a long time. I guess we'll see! But we won't be doing it on the kitchen floor again for a good long while ;)

And this is what Zoe-bug thinks of sticky sand...

Don't forget to check out the full recipe and original post here!

How I managed to ruin two perfectly good appliances in one day...and other mom-fail moments

Mom-fail #1 

Yep that's right. Two. In one day. About 20 minutes actually. Although one isn't actually ruined after all. So here's the story. After living in absolute chaos for a few months, I decided it was high time I get back into a cleaning routine. So I started last week and was feeling pretty proud of myself for keeping the house at least sanitary again. Until Tuesday that is...when I attempted the kitchen. I usually clean our microwave with vinegar by steaming it. You can read all about that process here. Well I've been doing it this way for about 6 or 8 months so I've done it plenty of times. But apparently I did something different this time. I put the vinegar/water in a glass bowl and turned on the microwave (just like I always do) and started cleaning the dishwasher front. The kids were asleep so the house was quiet except for the hum of the microwave running. And then it happened. It sounded like a gunshot went off and I jumped and screamed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the microwave door flying open and the glass bowl hurtling out. After I recovered from my mini heart attack (my heart was racing for a good ten minutes) I realized what had happened. Apparently the vinegar evaporated. Apparently when that happens the glass bowl gets reeeeally hot. And apparently when the glass bowl gets really hot it explodes. So yes, basically I exploded the door off my microwave. The bad news is the microwave no longer works. The good news is that apparently I have two really good sleepers because neither of them woke up ;)

Ok, appliance number two. As I was recovering from the shock of an explosion in my kitchen, I decided to continue cleaning the other appliances. Typically I just use an all-purpose cleaner and wipe down the fronts but I thought I would go the extra mile and clean our stainless steel appliances with a cleaner made specifically for that purpose. So I cleaned the dishwasher front. Sparkling. The oven? Sparkling. The refrigerator? Streaky and scratched. No one told me our refrigerator was a fraud. It's FAKE stainless steel and that does not work well with stainless steel cleaner. 

However, I was able to salvage the fridge pretty well after lots of rinsing and wiping and buffing. It's not as good as new but it's not too noticeable. 

Mom-fail #2

Twice in the same week I drove home from an outing without buckling my toddlers car seat. Somehow in the chaos of getting both kids out of the parking lot and into the car and loading the stroller while the baby's screaming all while it's a million and one degrees outside...it just got overlooked. And I get reminded about it regularly by my 2 year old who remembers everything. "Mommy didn't buckle me earlier and yesterday! Isn't that so silly?!" Yeah....

Mom-fail #3 

I'm standing in church Sunday morning with my family (E has started coming to "big church" for the music part of our worship service since I've been taking a break from playing keyboard). I was just singing and noticing all of the babies in the service (our church is full of babies). I heard a baby start crying and thought to myself how glad I was that our church recognizes the blessing of children and enjoys having them in service. The baby continued to cry and I began to look around to find out whose it was. All the babies in my line of sight looked happy. "Whose baby is that?!" I said to myself. And then I realized what you've probably guessed by now...it was my baby. Mom-fail.



Thankful that these moments are laughable now. And thankful for grace as I muddle my way through this mess of motherhood.

Until next time!

Adventures with two kids

Well I know you probably don't believe it since I've been MIA since Zoe was born, but we ARE surviving!! The adjustment phase is lasting a lot longer than my optimistic brain planned on it being but that's ok! Zoe has been a really great baby for the most part. She's starting to be awake a bit more during the day and is smiling and "talking" more every day. She sleeps great at night, usually about a 4 hour stretch at the beginning of the night and then eating every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. She doesn't cry at all at night so we are actually getting a decent amount of sleep. The evening however, is a different story. As best as I can tell she has colic (that mysterious and dreaded word). So we have nightly crying fests (mostly her, although I may have joined in a few times). Elias has had a bit of an adjustment phase as well as he gets used to sharing mommy's time. We've been having a lot more behavioral issues than we were used to with our usually complaint little man. All to be expected, but the combination of a demanding newborn and a much more demanding 2 year-old has left very little time for much else besides survival. I'm sure as the weeks go by and things smooth out, I will feel like we have a life outside of crying babies again! So here are some of our adventures with two kids!

First church day 

Lots of walks in the boba wrap!

Sunday night trip to the myriad gardens for water fun and live music (plus the best chocolate malt ever!)

Zoe's first trip to the zoo!

Lake fun with family

Sometimes your house looks like this...

And sometimes you let your kid jump on the bed with a bucket on his head...

LOTS of days this happens...(why yes, that is her brother's rain boot looming ominously in the corner of the photo) 

And some days, if you're lucky, this happens. 

And that's what makes it worth it. With all the good, the bad, and the ugly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Sibling love melts this mama's heart. 😍

Our new addition!

She's here!! Zoe Jane Souza was born on Tuesday night, June 17 at 8:48 pm. She weighed 7 lbs and was 19.7 inches long. 

After about two weeks of sporadic, mild contractions, I woke up Tuesday morning  with much stronger contractions. They were still coming irregularly and I could still walk and talk through them but I was pretty sure this would be the day she would come. After all, it was her due date! ;)

Marcos had come home early on Monday not feeling well so Tuesday morning I asked him to go ahead and stay home again. I just had "that feeling" that it would happen. The contractions slowed down around lunch but I was tired and we ordered Mcalister's for lunch. Around 1 I laid down for about an hour while Elias took a nap. Marcos called his parents and asked them to go ahead and pick up Elias for the afternoon since I needed to rest and then he and Elias sat down to watch the Brazil World Cup game while I packed the bags for the hospital. Marcos came in the room and said "whoa you're packing everything!" I don't think he believed me that we were having a baby that day ;) Lisa came around 3 and got Elias and I sat down with Marcos to finish watching the game. It was during the second half of the game that the first really hard contractions came - two 10 minutes apart. After the game I tried to rest but I couldn't sleep because the contractions were too strong. Our friend, Crystal, was a doula for this labor and this is about where her version of our birth story picks up. 

"On Tuesday June 17th Maddie began having contractions.  They were not consistent during the morning and they were all in her front.  At 12:45pm she texted their doula, Crystal Steele, that she had been having contractions all morning.  The Souza’s were all home together that morning.  In the afternoon Lisa came to get precious Elias so that Maddie and Marcos could rest a bit.  At 5:40pm Maddie chatted on the phone with their doula again about her first labor.  During their 20 minutes on the phone Maddie had 3 contractions that each lasted 30 seconds or longer.  At 6pm the contraction kept coming and at 6:30 they were preparing to leave the house."

 Marcos had jumped in the shower about 6:15 and I decided to FaceTime my mom (who was in china picking up my newest sister!) before I was in too much pain to talk. That is right when the contractions came on suddenly and super intense. I couldn't even get through a sentence with her and finally she said "umm I think you should go." I hollered at Marcos who rushed to dress and get in the car. 

 "Marcos and Maddie arrived in triage at OU children’s at 7pm with KatieMullican leading them.  Nurse Faith led them to triage room 1 where Maddie’s contractions were coming about every 3 minutes.  She couldn’t sit and only wanted to stand.  Leaning over the bed while someone pushed her hips and someone held a heating pad to her tummy helped her cope during contractions.  Although she had to concentrate during contractions Maddie seemed to be on top of each contraction and trying to relax with them.  When Maddie was able to lay back between contractions Nurse Faith checked her cervical dilation and she was at 8 cm and baby was at 0 station!  Maddie and Marcos had labored so well at home!!!  Faith went to call Leanna Harkess the Souza’s midwife.  When she came back it was time to head to delivery room 10.  Maddie walked down and had 3 contractions on the way.  At 7:40 pm the Souza’s were greeted by delivery nurse Kristen.  Around 8:00 Lisa and (Emily right?) arrived at the hospital.  Lisa took charge of the phone so that she could face-time Maddie’s momma, Dara, who was in China, in for the labor.  Emily was in charge of taking pictures, video and being an extra set of hands as Marcos and Crystal took turns pushing on Maddie’s hips.   Maddie’s contractions were right on top of each other.  Marcos continued to either push on her hips or stay near her face whispering to her and encouraging her constantly comforting her and assuring her that she was doing fine.  Maddie felt most comfortable moaning with her eyes closed swaying her hips while someone squeezed them and with cool washcloths on her neck and forehead.  She leaned over the bed for a while then got on her knees with her upper body draped over the birth ball for a while.  After a bit she got on the birth ball leaning over the bed, she began to feel more pressure from her descending baby as she rocked back and forth.   At around 8:25 she said she thought she might like to get on the bed and try pushing.  Nurse Kristen went to tell Leanna.  Maddie was lying on her side when Leanna came in the room to check her dilation.She had a small cervical lip left and her bag of waters had not broken yet.  She continued to push very well moving sweet baby down.  Leanna checked again and baby was in the posterior position. This explained why Maddie was having contractions all in her front but needed her back and hips squeezed for comfort.  Lisa moved the phone in closer to Maddie so Dara could encourage her daughter during this trying time of labor.Leanna suggested the squat bar so the baby would turn.  Marcos helped Maddie off the bed and everyone helped her do 2 deep, painful squats that did the trick of turning baby.  Maddie got back on the bed on her side again and curled around her abdomen giving 2 incredibly strong effective pushes only to see baby crowning very very quickly.  Leanna asked Maddie to not push but to pant so she could ease the baby out to prevent tears.  Maddie stayed controlled and slowly moved her baby out to where she could be placed on her tummy for Marcos and Maddie to enjoy at 8:48 pm!!  Maddie could hardly believe the baby was in her arms and one of the first things she said was “That was crazy!”  Lisa and Dara quietly chatted as Lisa was taking screen shots and moving the phone in close so Dara could see sweet Zoe Jane who had a head full of black hair.  The Souza family kept talking about how different she looked than Elias at birth and just cherishing the moment together."

My mom on FaceTime right as Zoe was born!! 

My labor was so different this time around but I couldn't have been happier with our birth experience yet again. My whole support team was awesome! And I am so thankful that Zoe is here and healthy and that the birth was uncomplicated. 

Both of our children are such a blessing. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!